Run & Paint

Friday, May 7, 2010

don't let the work take the joy out of the thing--

may 5 2010.

don’t let the work take the joy of a thing. that was the mantra running through pa in ribbons wrapping farms and silos, grazing cows, the quietude but for my footfalls (& footclimbs) on the hills of the area. . . . . the bucolic, external beauty became an internal beauty, became a mind-journey as the body churned Aware but unconsciously. huckleberry mountain loomed across the horizon, my feet pushing and pulling against the hills towards that massive gray jut darkening against the northern sky. and through that landscape passed my alternately searching and still mind-body, finding miles and future paintings on some subconscious continuum rarely revealed.



the runs were through a picturesque loop from Benton to Unityville with a one-room school house still standing on one corner by a cow pasture, a few hound dogs lazily watching me pass with heavy eyes, and few cars. the cars that did pass had smiles and waves, unlike anything that greets me at home. the end point was the Swisher Farm, a member of my extended (by marriage) family, and there was the massive dog Kobe, a black lab that looked like a dinosaur mixed with Rottweiler, but whose owner kept him near to the red oxide barn.




the limestone and granite of northern Virginia, the plush life of the blue ridge. we stopped by Fredericksburg and found a charming historic city, bustling with tobacco and pint-clinking bars, galleries and even a river-front park. we then passed the preparations of the Apple Blossom Festival and turned left towards Berryville, where we visited friends on their wild green mountain, farm patches rolling behind rusted iron gates and thickets thrusting luscious and berried and fecund. a wonderful stop.



the premier run was across steep loose-rubble roads where horses nodded and hoof-stomped at my curious arrival. I listened, a bit paranoid, to the woods swallowing me as their rich life ruffled and shook and vibrated cacophonic. an easy breath came at the 1500’ elevation, even climbing the 500’ that rolls nearly unnoticed across the pastorale.


may 6 2010. schubert’s cypresses for string quartet, rachmoninoff’s elegiac trios for piano and strings. marvelous. today brought a six mile run, summer rest looping through the coast and back around wb park and up summer rest, the closest thing to a rolling run one can find at this coast. knee felt okay until I got home and sat outside with my dog and watched the tomato plants grow in the sun; tensed up something awful during that fifteen minute rest. but the run was fast and Hot, good cleansing with a full pint of Gatorade and plenty of h20 afterwards to wash out muscles and toxins. lovely bodies running, already bronzed and beautiful. much of the run was internal, quiet, just breathing and body-awareness (mostly knee and breath) and an effort to rid the negatives of the system. six miles was a good distance, though I look forward to the meditation of the long runs again.



Rauschenberg’s transfer drawings reclaim my interest and provoke the will to work. feels so long ago that I was playing with transfers and really painting. . . . . working fluidly and with excitement in my work. work begets work. also enjoying the previous two issues of Modern Painters, especially the hockney interview. I contemplate the next step of restoring myself to creativity.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Collective ramble and you can probably skip this one. . . .

april 19th

lsd. that is the ongoing acronym. . . . long slow distance. maybe not long-- four miles, then one mile in trail shoes. a little barefoot running. trying to rebuild the knee injury. . .

no creative thoughts—new moon phase. . . . (sometimes the old thoughts creep in on me.)

earth day- april 22 2010. three miles plus one mile barefoot walk/jog. . . . . swift pace. thought much of sensuality of running, the sexuality of running. the raw physicality, the expressionist angst of movement, the thrusts of breath and body and beating the feet and the brutality of a pace at the top of one’s ability. . . . the madness of running. the meditation of the long slow distance. . . . . the psychosis?

running is a physical act and thus directly related to evolutionary wellness--- a. one improves the body’s attractiveness, making it a sexually desirable object. b. a healthy body indicates a healthy mate, hence an increased likelihood of successful breeding with that mate. also, physically healthy individuals can endure harsh circumstances longer, are more likely to survive in adverse conditions due to multi-layered preparedness to survive. c. a healthy body indicates an individual’s capacity to care for one’s Self, a sexy attribute. and a healthy body indicates a willingness to live and to live well. . .

ultimately, in simplified shorthand: healthy = sexy, at least on a subconscious level.
Darwin should have been a runner.

running enhances the sexual experience, builds the libido, and makes for a more complete & creative experience. . . . . so why don’t I just go get fucked? a whole ‘nother post.

april 23 2010. 12 miles for the week. 96 miles for the month. 412 for the year.

five miles running, ½ mile barefoot jogging afterwards. now flogging molly and thoughts of flaming amy’s.

mr. stripey is growing like a champ.  he will get earth-anchored this weekend, and probably find a partner or two downtown at the farmer's market tomorrow morning. 

otherwise, i find myself reading news on the local newspaper with deep intrigue and personal infatuation.  i read about the drug busts, specifically narcotics and more specifically heroin.  i mark my mental map and build a network of potential neighborhoods and places the cops are targetting.  it is ridiculous and romantic (meaning distorted) and just a passing phase, tired mind and exhausted image-repertoire hoping for inspiration in any form. . . . . the runs are lengthening again thankfully. 

Pennsylvania in one week! running amish fields and deer last year popping out on trail twenty feet in front of me (maybe running from a bear. . . ?) always a godly experience, being in the pa mountains.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Some pics from y'day's trail jog--

life drawing tonight.  discussions of liszt, de kooning, edgerton & faulkner, sinclair, and even some rachmoninoff last night at work.  served One person all night. . . . eight dollars the richer. 


april 13th

(my love for nature began in my childhood in the acres of woods behind my grandparent's home. today was a similar childhood playfulness and curiosity as i snuck in a coupl'a hours on some trails only ten minutes from my driveway. wonderful to have such options nearby. . . . )





jogging trails this morning as knee pain persists with stressful use. I headed to plantation grove nature preserve and put in some random twists and turns across pine needle paths and tree-identification signs and headed down trails of pine, oak, magnolias. . . passed a pond, open fields. . . . . sun is shining, the weather is sweet. . . . . makes ya’ wanna move your dancing feet. . . . . an enriching, organic experience.


Monday, April 12, 2010

one is the loneliest number. . . . . a few paintings, a few miles of language.

april 12th. the week was filled with my quarterly visit to the periodontist/dentist, a very sick ky, a sick kas, four long and busy shifts at the restaurant, nc azalea festival (just outside our front door at the restaurant!), and finally a 16 mile run sunday morning. last week's mileage total was conservative, 25 miles, doing a speedwork session & one 4 miler (as heat and pollen hang heavy on the head and lungs and legs) and taking it easy as kyote visited doctors and I spent time with the family. I did purchase two major things this weekend: a. Great Outdoor Provision Co. (thanks Tim!) cut me a deal I couldn’t resist on some Salomon xt wings 2, thus I have a new pair of brilliant trail running/ hiking shoes! b. purchased a FatMax tool box for my painting gear, that I can roll out and work in the yard or on the deck or wherever I want, with all my brushes and tube/ jar paints and charcoals and essential tools. . . . fantastic! I had not set up a workspace since exiting the studio, so I am en route to getting visual work going again. all good reason to celebrate by running and painting!





from there, a bit on the 16 miler. after an easier week of running, I anticipated eagerly my sunday morning long run. it was crisp and cooler, a beautiful morning, a brief interlude from the pollen clouds torturing our southern landscape recently. so I climbed into the asics with a packet of gu chomps and one mini-clif bar, and began the run at 8h23 am. the drivers were few but compensated in their lack of numbers with an increased obliviousness while driving—always infuriating. I found a small overgrown trail offa' rogersville rd, followed that through a few spiderwebs and into the deep, hookers green woods, paused to fish out a gu gel, then sprinted back towards the road and down Wrightsville. airlie gardens was pretty, but the horses were not out. I ran smooth and long and was pleased with my pace. I aimed towards the water fountain at WB park and stopped in, ate my second gu gel, and kicked it to the coast. pausing at the glassed ocean and the drifting sun-slices, I prayed in gratitude, and began jogging back across the sand to the asphault to the draw bridge. I hit the draw bridge well and dropped down the other side, and the cramp began. and the cramp seized up my knee and seemed to crawl down my left calf, on the outside of the leg, and just lock down the joint. I slowed to jog it out, but with no reprieve. I walked. and thus began the cycle which would haunt the remaining four miles home. . . . run/ jog/ walk. I made it home by 10h44 am, stretched, then showered after an advil.   home depot, lunch of boiled shrimp & red potatoes, then work at 3pm. 


work was slow, slow, slow. the steps were fine on the ascent (every drink or order or transaction requires the running of a set of stairs), but the descent was painful on my left leg, just in the knee area. . . . I left after six hours of roaming and people-watching in the restaurant window with no real income to show for time.  I slept well and deeply and uninterrupted, then awoke with a very sore knee.  I stretched it out slowly to a tolerable throb. I pray that it will heal (with rest and ice) before our trip to PA as I sketch various parks & trail systems I want to visit. in reading lore of running, the injuries section with self-diagnosis paranoia in full-effect, i find every reason to be concerned and anxious, but i will remain patient as possible.  i will remain positive (my best mantra recently, even with punkrock sneer).




kyote is feeling better by the way!!


Monday, April 5, 2010

easter week et cetera. . . . .

march 25th. ky is thirteen months old.  spring is arrived. 


preparing for an 8 – 10 miler downtown. misty, pollen is a monster, beethoven’s opus 133 performed by (none other than) the emerson string quartet. . . . (wish I had their Bartok collection). . . . . one banana, one clif-shot gel, a pint of watered-down G2.


nine miles, ninety minutes with a bathroom break at mile 6. . . . a good run with many inclines & declines, off-road as much as possible. boardwalk by CFCC to Pilot House to confederate park (when did they start tearing up the park beneath the memorial bridge?), across grassy mounds through the industrial area, tractor trailers and huge oil storage tanks, then the abandoned blight and I thought I saw some dude walking around with a small rifle, so I kicked some speed-work into the lakeside path. sun warmed and off came the shirt around mile four and then some nausea and no working water fountains currently, across the entire town. . . .

four other runners. sparse. a good stretch.






ran with scooter & jimi at beach on friday-- 7am.  more of a walk-run, the run was more of a social experience.   scooter is organizing a new run which sounds like a great deal of fun, even though i do not drink alcoholic bevs.  maybe sundrop or something equally tragic, but no beer.  the idea is run one mile, drink one beer, and repeat until a full six-pack is consumed.  there will be puking. 



4.3.10 easter monday. one week since last post, and in that week a wonderful time with my family and running somewhere around 35 miles. ran 42 miles last week, then took sat. and sun. to spend the early part of the day with my family, before work. went to tregembo zoo on friday and saw the wonderful animals. . . . kyote & kas had a ball. fulfilling. looking a pair of salomon xt wings 2, or the ultra, or a pair of montrails. . . hopefully for running some trails in Pennsylvania or mountains of North Carolina, soon. next year, the goal is mainly trail 50ks, the run for ray half-marathon, maybe a 20k or anything above in an interesting location. meanwhile I will build offa my base running with some speed work.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

march 17th --> march 23 2010. prayer, running, painting.

march 17th
ran eight miles, across downtown from parking deck through library and homeless stragglers to Greenfield lake park and the perverts and junkies and alligators. . . . . . felt strong and enjoyed the hill-bursts. no real contemplations, just running through doubt and fear.

st. patricks day. 281 miles 81 miles 20 miles.

cake and ice cream with family (kyote kas mom who is visiting) following an excellent meal of corned beef, red potatoes, carrots and mustard. you got to love crock-pot cooking!

march 19th 2010.

envy. envy seems to be the lesson of the day. with others projecting against another’s life, them projecting on someone else’s, one is never really present for one’s own life.

the spiritual-emotional trespassing is a difficult tolerance, and tolerance is an struggle recently. hence a double opportunity for growth. . . . . rebuilding tolerance and an awareness of my tendancy towards envy.

prayer is first a thought, a confession or a vision, but ultimately it is an act or a sequence of actions.


gator trail will not happen as the cutoff for registration passed yesterday. I am a bit disappointed but know that this is something I can shoot for next year, with style and grace that would certainly be absent this year. I will continue building base miles and make another good run happen, likely including the three lakes trail marathon in Greensboro later in the year.

thoughts of hemingway, spain, trout fishing and the stream behind the house where I lived in banner elk, nc. no run but depression.


march 21 2010. a fun run y’day with my wife, on the first official day of spring, with kyote in the jogging stroller and a gorgeous day. two miles and a coupl’a yard sales as we circled the neighborhood. kas bought a cracked-glass vase.


today I hit the pavement at 8am and ran a solid sixteen miler across trails and Rogersville road over salt marsh bridges and misty fields where two horses stamped and chewed grass and then the ICW and finally the beach, where I was reminded of monet in Normandy and thought of van gogh cause of the painterly effect of the sun across the rippled ocean surface. . . . . back home through the cement-leg kicks of the marathoners (quintiles marathon at Wrightsville beach this weekend, though I missed out) on final or second-to-final loop and water and water and sun on my back. . . . need a hydration belt.

environMental was my mantra for a while. . . . something. . . . . a little kitschy and catchy at the same time.

fucking brahms; his string quartets. just massive.

march 23. is running my personal wabi-sabi perfect state? have I answered the metaphysical question haunting me since college: why paint? what ego-centric narcissist feels the need to act upon others’ senses with their own creations and visions? what desperate solitude & isolation pushes the individual into a violent act of creativity. . . . visionary pleads. . . . what is the point of art but ultimately an aesthetic fascination, thus a vanity? is art escapist or shamanic? (I am excluding fashion as art and the fashion of art. . . . the “canons” of art history are the monopolies of the individual’s mind and blinding. fashion is consumerism and capitalism and ridiculous.) and what is the highest form of art as an act of honest shamanic introspect?

running pushes the body mind and spirit. . . . environment meets invironment and painting approaches that threshold, stands at a nexus though falters in its capacity to move beyond. painting is always restricted to the internal vocabulary and image-repertoire and therefore its own solipsistic series of associations, UNLESS one believes that God (or a higher power) can and will directly act upon the creative self, and thus one serves merely as an empty vessel into which a diety-form pours the languaged creation. yet what is the ecstacy of art? perhaps no answer but the Act. . . . again. to Act is to reach for something higher, a work of contrition.

there is no hierarchy in things of the ephemera. back to more tangible facets of Act and Prayer. . . . . wish I had a farm to work—energy invested yields energy ie. work = food. . . . another blog in another mind.

tedd corbitt. . . . . man alive. 100 mile weeks?!!

six miles, an easy pace across d-town, PPD through d-town to Greenfield, scattered with zen pauses, then allergy pauses near and in the park itself. a pretty day although windy. blight filled much of the middle run, was rampant with nesbitt court and wright street and marstellar and even Greenfield itself was populated with creeps, thought of dybek’s Chicago chronicles. . . . back down fifth st. to third to boardwalk by front street and the many empty windows of the business district. bars, tattoo parlors and empty store fronts. a few good restaurants, including where I work. . . . . the cape fear swollen and powerful passing without judgement beside my heaving body. the river the river the river.



have commenced setting up a creative workspace in the home. canvases lean on walls and sketchbooks fan out by cds of mahler, Schoenberg, and the mad complete string quartets of hadyn. . . . . the pogues and ace of bass.

(half marathon at river towns, pa at beginning of may?)

311 miles in 2010. 111 miles in march. 22 miles this week.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Hallucinations, Visions and a new blog entry.

march 12, 2010. running with hallucinations.

yesterday was a helluva run. somewhere around 12 – 13 miles, from my home to Wrightsville beach and back. the first half was humid from the recently passed storms, with the sun lifting steam from eastwood road. running and running and running, a purely physical act, a wholly physical awareness on this stretch. . . . I had one gu gel drop (surprisingly tasty), as my energy began to wane. the heat forced me to ditch my jacket, stashing it off a wooded trail. I finally passed the ICW over the (slippery) draw bridge, to the park where I swished some water and one gu gel drop, turned back into the breeze. it wasn’t a quarter mile that the drizzle began, as the gray of the northern sky darkened, then blurred out, then the downpour was battering me. my shorts and shoes were immediately soaked, my shoes suddenly two pounds heavier and my gait sloshy and irritated. nothing to do but run. the rain and wind cooled. fifteen minutes later I came into my trail entrance and grabbed my jacket, the rain continuing. . . . I cut back through some neighborhoods, away from traffic noise, and began to really zone in on mental aspects of the run. I watched the end of my asics, seeing the toe box kick and land and roll, kick and land and roll. . . . . the rain was steady and hard and I began to watch the rain drops falling from my hair, my arms, my knees. I began to see the individual crystal drops sling from my feet, four or five pure drops from each kick. I watched them dissolve into the asphalt, the puddles, the grass, to be absorbed back into the land, quartz seeds. I saw the whole syncopated motion of the rain, representing the dynamics of my body, as it fell from me in different trajectories and directions and fell away. and I kicked with various levels of the hip, with the bottom of the lungs, with the knees, a strange dance with the rain. and I was drenched. and I could taste the clean rain. it was ecstatic.

this hallucinogenic period lasted perhaps two miles, and then the weight of my shoes, the additional pressure of the sides of my feet from my swollen shoes material, the abrasion of my inner-thighs eleven miles deep and still a good distance from home, rudely ripped me back into the physical act. crossing Market street was deadly as ever, precarious, and I finally popped across and into the home stretch. showered and rehydrated, I spooned up some hot beef stew with hot coffee and relaxed out with some avett brothers & iron and wine. . . . . work would begin soon enough.

the packets of gu gel indicate that they enhance strength, endurance and focus. my focus kept reminding me of the film Jesus Son in which crudup’s character, on a smorgasbord of drugs, says of his ride through a storm: “I knew every rain drop. By name.”

I have started experimenting with the gels as I am looking at longer runs. specifically I am looking towards the gator trail 50k at the end of this month, uncertain whether I can be ready so soon. . . . more to come!



III. march 15 2010. disappointment at steve haydu lo tide run, daylight savings long run with s. and j.
# of miles this year: 273 month: 73 week: 12

anton krupicka. . . . . scott jurek. man alive.

thoughts of running the woods behind my grandparents house when a young boy. I would cut a sheath outta bedsheets, shove my dull rusted machete into the sheath (normally it would cut my poor threadings within five minutes of hiking), and venture into the woods. a narrow creek, called seven mile creek, divided the woods, with steep red clay banks and overgrown construction paths. it was the late 70’s, and charlotte was young and proud, and our little stretch of undiscovered beauty called concord was innocent and pastures and pastorale. in these woods I discovered and sought god and was brought to a higher awareness than with my grandparents or mother at dinning room tables and churches and other rushed occasions.

this weekend brought the haydu lo tide st. patricks 10k, brought my goal-time of 43 minutes upon completion, only to learn that the timer was (evidently) for 5k runners, five minutes staggered. while I am still confused but no longer resentful at the deflation, my actual time was 48m yielding a 7min 36s pace. my efforts that day reflected a huge improvement over my first 10k (run for the chowder 2007), also in Carolina beach, and were pleasing considering I made a wrong turn (not that it cost me much time) and was pushing a wall from the second mile on . . . . was a one-mile-at-a-time type run. the heat was punishing the second half of the run and I’ve written enough about the run.  though i must mention, finally, the fact that this was one run where the volunteers smoked, even though this event is a cancer benefit and promotes health awareness. . . .

that was saturday, and we pushed the clocks forward one hour after a busy shift that night. the “spring forward” factor was not considered when I agreed to a 12 mile run sunday morning with j. and s., and I found myself pushing into shoes at 6h30 am, my body’s 5h30 am, having fallen asleep at about midnight. . . . my run started smoothly, was good to see the guys pre-sunrise sunday morning, and away we went to Wrightsville beach. s. fought nausea as last night’s wine boiled outta his hips and stomach and legs. j. spoke of his recent reading and his little girl and the upcoming 10k in Richmond, where some eight thousand people will run (literally) shouldertoshouldertoshoulder (sounds horrible); it is the second largest 10k in the country.

light began seeping across pines and marshes and grocery stores as the first three miles passed with little issue other than a cold wind pushing against us on a surprisingly chilly 50 degrees. but push into it we did, to the beach where the sun was burning the churning ocean-mouth and wind pushed the spume into slow sprays and the few moments paused made the run worthwhile. meanwhile water was necessary, and we paused at the salt-marsh long enough to cool off, then get cold, then realize we were cold and wet and running back into a cold headwind. legs tightened and breath constricted and the ninth mile passed at the corner of Eastwood and Military Cutoff turned us into the new sun. a dark storm collected in the northern sky, which formed a full rainbow at mile 10. a double rainbow formed briefly, a brief respite, and the toll of miles and limited rest and etc. brought my quads and my calves into a concrete stiffness and my legs began failing the pace s. and j. carried easily ahead. I lagged. then the strange pain in my right foot kicked back in—like a lateral muscle on the sole getting ripped on the final movement of the kick, seemingly off of the second toe. I lagged. and I lagged worse. eventually I finished with my friends congratulating me and giving me high fives and just good comradery even if my running isn’t at their level.
back home where kyote and kas and myself cleaned up, had asiago bagels and dark coffee, enjoyed the sunny sunday.














(ky and best bud everett at their respect one year and six month b-day celebration!)the rainbows were awesome, the ocean burning new under the first sun of the week was inspiring, but the run was the fourth circle of the training inferno. . . . I am doubtful as to my aptitude of completing the gator trail 50k in two weeks, less than two weeks as I write this monday morning. and I lost another toe nail over the weekend, the second to go this year! oh the sacrifices!